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Title: A Blossom Fell, Part 2
Author: Cicero
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairing: Archer/Reed, Archer/f
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "When I think of Malcolm, I think of the stories about guardian angels that my mother used to tell me."
Email Address: Cicerothewriter@livejournal.com
Categories: Drama, Angst
Feedback notes: Like it? Don't like it? Spelling or Grammar errors? Please let me know.
Warnings: Slash. Infidelity.
Notes: This is a companion piece/sequel to my other story, A Blossom Fell. This is a response to "Home," "Affliction," and "Divergence." I'm not entirely happy with this part. I think it feels a bit too unstructured, but then I suppose I can justify that because Archer is still upset that his trusted partner has lied to him.
Disclaimer: I do not own Enterprise. I am writing this for fun, not profit.

When I think of Malcolm, I think of the stories about guardian angels that my mother used to tell me. She used to say that I would have an angel to keep me safe for as long as I was alive. My guardian angel is a stubborn one, who thinks he's always right (and to my chagrin he usually is). He's beautiful, breath taking, and so damn protective and supportive in times of trouble. That's why I'm not sure why I slept with Hernandez that night. I guess I wasn't ready to ask Malcolm for forgiveness because of my treatment of him during the battle with the Xindi. When she called me later, I explained everything. She said that it was okay. She'd always liked Trip better anyway. I don't think she really liked my obvious relief at her levity.

I thought Malcolm and I would be okay. I had taken him to a romantic Italian restaurant when Hoshi called to tell us that she had been injured and Phlox kidnapped. Malcolm had forgiven me - he always forgives me - and I thought nothing more about his odd behavior during our search for Phlox. I didn't realize that he was behaving oddly until both T'Pol and Hoshi reluctantly came to me with their evidence.

Devastation would be the mildest way to describe what I felt then. I asked him about who fired on the Rigellians. I gave him the chance to fix it. I gave him the chance to redeem himself. He lied to me. He couldn't keep looking me in the eyes, and I had the same problem. When he refused to answer any more questions, rage grew within me. I grabbed his wrist, hard, and he flinched away.

At that moment I hated him. The faith I had always put in him was gone, and I was left floundering around and helpless. Ordering him to the brig was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, even harder than leaving him to destroy the Xindi weapon.

Dragging out the issue of his father was a low blow. All I wanted from Malcolm was information. I wanted him to show me that I meant more than whatever it was he was so very devoted to. I know he would do anything for me, but I had no idea who or what could replace me for that honored spot in his heart. I was jealous, and I wanted to see him hurt. My angry heart nearly broke when he looked up at me with teary eyes and flush face, but at that moment I was glad because he was showing the emotions that I could not. Not while I'm Captain of the Enterprise and the crew are in danger.

It wasn't until after I released Malcolm from the brig that I realized something. That night at the restaurant I had apologized to Malcolm for many things, but I never mentioned Hernandez. I'm not even sure if he knows. Why should he? I'm sure if he did know, T'Pol would be at this moment scraping phase cannon-charred bits of me off the hull. Wouldn't he? Now I'm not so sure. I only know that I want this to have never happened. I don't want to know that Malcolm doesn't trust me, and he could justify lying to me, because he can trust me. Can't he?

Now the crisis is over for the moment. Trip is here, repairing the Enterprise and giving me weird glances. I want to talk to my friend, but I don't know if I want to hear what he has to say. I need to be able to sit down and think for a little while. I want this sick feeling to go away. Despite my justified anger at his betrayal, I can't help but think that this is my fault.



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